England Football Songs: Who Makes The Starting 11?

The moment comes round every (most) couple of years, when we sit down and enjoy, laugh at, cry at and often question the latest song to label our national football team as potential European or World Champions. After all, we need something to keep our hopes aloft and mask our team of consistently under-performing, excuse ridden plonkers.


So, Roy Hodgson, if you've got a headache trying to figure out your starting XI for this year's World Cup, fear not, here's another team of eleven who could potentially fare us in better stead in Brazil this summer. May I introduce the England Songs XI. Filled with familiar characteristics you may see in our players themselves, from the boring and painful individuals, to the vibrant potential and the ones who've got a point to prove.

Goalkeeper

Grandad Roberts And His Son Elvis - 'Meat Pie, Sausage Roll' (1998 World Cup)
An absolute howler as far as any song goes. The not so successful song for England's 1998 World Cup campaign is reminiscent of some of those woeful displays we've seen between our posts in recent years perhaps due to wandering thoughts of meat pies and sausage rolls...




Right Back

Chico - 'It’s England Time' (2010 World Cup)
We'll continue where we left off shall we? Another loose cannon in the defence. The right back position is often said to be the least glamorous of positions, and this 'song' certainly lives up to that, but hey, check out those dance moves and miming.





Centre Back 

Fat Les - 'Vindaloo' (1998 World Cup)
The first of our debatably stable centre back pairing. Is there really more of a hard-nut song than this? Perhaps if our defenders were to shout these lyrics whenever they competed for a header they may strike some sort of strange fear into the opposition.




Centre Back

Baddiel, Skinner & Lightning Seeds - 'Three Lions' (1996 European Championship/ 1998 World Cup)
Two versions of this song were made, referencing different players in each making it a legendary anthem for any fan. It screams patriotism and is a fine specimen to captain any England team. Think Moore, think Adams, think Terry. The most classic of England anthems.




Left Back

Take That - 'Greatest Day' (World Cup 2014)
This year's entry was to be England's official World Cup song but has since been allegedly dropped, not good enough eh? It features a cover put together by Gary Barlow, including some of England's past footballing heroes and recent pop stars. It's quite a bland number but if 18 year-old left-back, Luke Shaw, steps foot on Brazilian soil this year, it will surely be his 'greatest day'.




Right Midfield

Dizzee Rascal feat. James Corden - 'Shout' (World Cup 2010)
The right side of midfield needs some flair down the wing, so what better song than this? The adaptation on Tears For Fears 'Shout' sees lyrics changed to 'we need Rooney in tip top condition, Aaron Lennon down the wing like he's on a mission'. If that's not enough to make it one of the best England songs around, then I don't know what is.




Centre Midfield

The Farm - 'All Together Now' (World Cup 1990)
A centre mid to bring the whole team together, this is fitting for the role. One of the more up lifting songs there's been and one which marked England's nearly heroes of Italia '90. Expect to hear this tune being thrown about again this year...





Centre Midfield

Ant & Dec - 'We're On The Ball' (World Cup 2002)
Don't expect to be hearing this again however. For it's time, the witty video and cheeky Geordie vocals were probably the catchiest things around. Just like our central midfielders, they'll need to be on the ball if they're to get anything out of Brazil this summer.



Left Midfield

New Order - 'World In Motion' (World Cup 1990)
Another gem from Italia '90 and one of the best England football songs ever. How a band as big as New Order were convinced to do a World Cup song we'll never know, but boy did they do a great job, recruiting John Barnes' infamous rapping skills with them. Just like John Barnes, it'd fit nicely in left midfield.



Centre Forward

Embrace - 'World At Your Feet' (World Cup 2006)
Probably the 'indiest' track you're going to get in this line up I'm afraid. It's not great, let's be honest. About as painful to listen to as it has been to watch Emile Heskey play up front for our beloved country all these years. 





Centre Forward

Spice Girls feat. England United - '(How Does It Feel To Be) On Top Of The World' (World Cup 1998)
With our strikers constantly needing to prove themselves, hopefully this is how Wayne Rooney will feel come July time... Or maybe not. The song itself is very questionable as the formidable duo of the Spice Girls and Echo And The Bunnymen combine forces to create one of the cheesiest/creepiest videos of all time.




Manager

Bell & Spurling - 'Sven Sven Sven' (2001)
As you know, every team needs a manager, whether they're good or not is another question. Sven Goran Eriksson was just so average, two fellas decided to make a cringeworthy song about him and England's 5-1 victory over Germany in 2001. Cover your eyes, and ears.



What's your favourite England song? Or did your favourite not make our final XI cut? Let us know by commenting below.


By Joshua Shreeve (@JJShreeve)